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Grief: Losing someone you love
When I received that phone call at 4 a.m. my life was changed, forever..
When I first lost my sister, it was extremely hard to deal with. I felt like my own life was over. I had no connection with myself anymore or God. I felt very lost and lonely many times. And then I started to have experiences that I hadn't had in a very long time. I started to question everything I believed in.
It can feel different for everyone. For me, it was like a black hole had made its way into my heart and it was sucking the life, love, and joy out of every single thing around me. I felt like I was falling into a dark abyss. How could I ever think of a tomorrow without you? Time became surreal. I was so hurt and angry. No goodbye, no real answers as to what actually happened that night. Just the pieces left to pick up and keep moving. So many sleepless nights, nightmares, and images running around in my mind over and over. I had to learn to pick myself up and keep going. To find a reason to keep moving forward.
Of course, time didn't stop, it kept on going. I realized there was no room for giving up with so much responsibility on me. Every day that came and passed made the pain a little softer and the days a little less scary. I started to have very spiritual experiences that were frightening at times and I felt very confused. I felt something else out there and that made me understand that I couldn't give up.
You are important too!
Heal yourself! You are important too and your loved one wants you to succeed in this life. Do a favor not only for your loved ones but for yourself. Take the time out to grieve and deal with how you feel now. When we lose someone it feels like we've lost a piece of ourselves and the effects can be so damaging. Learning how to deal with our own emotions and being aware of ourselves can hold so much knowledge. It's okay to feel these ways but to never give up. You are strong and hold the keys inside yourself to heal.
In Loving Memory of my beautiful sister, Taylor Morgan 10/01/1997-04/15/2019 May you always feel the love I have for you!