Seeking validation from others

This is a hard truth I learned and I've been dealing with it the best that I can. I didn't even realize I was doing this until very recently. It's so important to identify the places where we are giving our power away, creating this feeling of being powerless. It can be so triggering to go inside of ourselves and ask, "Where am I in the wrong?" But it is one of the most important things we can start to explore for ourselves. I was feeling all these types of ways inside of my own mind. And when I took a step back, none of it even mattered.

Some of us may feel like we don't have a place of belonging causing us to seek the validation of who we are from other people by the way they react and treat us.

There is literally no reason at all to do this. This type of seeking out, for me, was a learned behavior from childhood. I was constantly trying to win over the approval of others, sometimes changing who I was or what I liked in regards to the situation I was in. It made me feel utterly powerless and confused. I felt like I was never enough always running around making sure to make everyone around me happy and always putting myself last. I felt like I was doing all these things on the outside when my insides were screaming STOP!

You can not allow other people's opinions and interpretations of you to be the basis of who you are. I have made this mistake so many times. I would beat myself up and tell myself I wasn't good enough. The people I was using to define myself didn't even have the same interests or goals as I did. When I look back it made no sense at all except that I just wanted to be accepted at any cost. It created a lot of unhealthy relationships for me and I was feeling so incomplete after it all. I was alone with all these unhealthy thoughts about myself and none about the people I surrounded myself with. Care enough about yourself to take a step back and question what is really going on. You may be surprised by the answer!

It seems so hard to love yourself, but so easy to love others. Why is that? We just put ourselves behind. We forget about ourselves. In the chaos of life its so easy to lose yourself and become unhappy. Being present in the moment can help you to start to recognize these patterns you are falling into creating these despairing type thoughts that run cycle inside your head. Once you start to understand what is causing these triggers you can then reflect on the situation and really dive into how you felt in the moment and why you felt those ways.

You are always entitled to your feelings and you are allowed to feel the way you feel. It is your responsibility to use discernment and not react based on your own feelings and interpretations of the situation.

Know that the other person is just as entitled to feel the way they do. This can be a very freeing experience if you allow it to be.

Real love and acceptance happen when you own who you are and you are no longer afraid to set healthy boundaries out of respect for yourself.

When you no longer feel the pull of guilt for standing up for yourself and saying No. When you can finally see that you are worthy of love and abundance and you can accept that for yourself. Have the confidence to change yourself for the better. Know you can heal and you deserve to heal.

Have any questions, comments, tips, or stories to share?? Leave a comment below! Live in the now, Love in the now.